Once Felt, Twice Missed
by Juri.DP
Summary: Maybe he's selfish. Maybe he's sadistic. Whatever the case, even though he rejected her, he wants to be the one to see her love for a change.
1. Chapter 1

**I should just make a oneshot category and put all the fics there because it looks like I have a lot of stories...but I kinda don't. Anyway...**

**I did a NaruHina! I didn't think it was possible! It's probs not original; it's probs not light-hearted, but it's not dark either. Ah. Ah! And that's the thing.**

**It's not dark.**

**Enjoy!**

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He acknowledged he must have been going through some kind of phase because he was seeing her in a new light lately. It wasn't any form of affection or budding effects of it, so, maybe, he was just a little regretful.

Or...he had a nagging sense of nostalgia; even though, he was not part of the event that caused it.

"Good job," Hinata said as they entered through the village gates.

He nodded, giving a small smile. "Yeah. You too."

She turned, and Naruto took a moment to reflect on this change. There wasn't a change he could validly say he noticed, but, if he looked back on their younger days, maybe he could see signs then that weren't present now.

* * *

"Hinata's kind of...cool."

"A little...mysterious, don't you think?"

"But she's still the same."

Sakura, Ino, and Tenten watched from a distance as Team 8 went over plans for their next mission. From here, it was obvious that Hinata was the leader this time around; Kiba and Shino listened intently as she went over strategies and back-up plans, and a sense of amazement struck each of them as they realized this air of duty and authority that engulfed her. Vaguely, they wondered if she was on par with Neji now.

"Sakuraaaaaa!"

The three looked over, seeing Naruto waving and rushing their way.

"What is it, Naruto?" Sakura answered, a bit relunctant to look away from the scene.

"About next week's mission, Sasuke can't go."

"What? Why?"

"ANBU training with Neji or something."

"Well, I guess we don't really need him..." Her eyes trailed back to Team 8. "How about Hinata?" She looked at Naruto, taking in his confused stare. "She could replace Sasuke, no problem."

Naruto frowned. "Yeah...but I was hoping this would be a perfect chance for us to be alone."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. She probably has her own S-ranked missions to worry about anyway."

"Tenten!" Hinata called running her way. "Do you have a second?"

"Hm?" The brunette blinked. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you." Hinata smiled a greeting at everyone before the two walked away.

"Wow..." Ino mumbled. "It's a little weird, huh?"

"I know what you mean," Sakura agreed.

"Eh? What's weird?" Naruto looked between the two. "I don't get it."

Sakura looked at him, sighing. "Well, _you_ wouldn't have ever noticed, but it's odd for _us_ to not see that shine in Hinata's eyes anymore."

"What, is she sad?"

"No," Ino groaned. "Geez, Naruto, she doesn't like you anymore, so that...that..._childlike wonder_ is gone, and it's just weird. She's like... She's like a Hyuuga now."

Naruto crossed his arms, joining the girls in watching Hinata talk with Tenten.

He guessed...he really wouldn't have noticed.

* * *

"Hinata!"

Hinata turned, stopping so Naruto could catch up with her.

"Yes? What is it?"

Naruto doubled over, catching his breath. "I...I need your help," he wheezed. "K-Konoha Library... Too many books..."

She laughed, holding half her bangs back. "My Byakugan?"

He grinned at her. "Please?"

*o0o0o0o0o*

"It's over there," Hinata pointed, her Byakugan glaring. "On the bottom shelf of the third bookcase."

Naruto ran over and dropped to the ground, retrieving the book. He sprung to his feet with it raised over his head victoriously.

"Thank you!" he knelt in front of her valiantly, clutching the book. "You don't know how important this is to me!"

She laughed, taking a step back. "Not really." There was a pause, seeing if he was going to say anything else. "Well, I'll be going now. I hope your studies on," she glanced at the book, "Konoha...History...goes well. Hm."

He barely had time to vocalize his goodbyes before her figure was walking away. When she rounded the corner, he slumped against the bookcase, sliding until he sat down. With Hinata gone, he would be the only one in the gigantic building, and he felt a nostalgic kind of loneliness creep up on him.

Sighing, he opened his book and began to read.

*o0o0o0o0o0o*

Thirty minutes later, Naruto stood, stretching. History was too boring of a subject even if his knowledge on the matter would greatly aid him in the long run, so he put the book back on the shelf and walked into the aisle.

He contemplated on what to do now. He found himself venturing around the village for no reason lately, but even that was starting to bum him out. Ichiraku was a place he seldom visited because ramen lost that pinch of excitement he craved. Really, nothing felt complete anymore, and it was taking all he had to resist the fact that things were changing somehow.

When he walked into the vast area filled with tables and chairs, he was surprised to see Hinata sitting at one of them on the other side. He stared for a moment, wondering if she had been waiting for him this whole time, and made his way over to her. The closer he got, he saw that she had been reading a book of her own.

"You're still here," he said when he reached her. Her head shot up, but she calmed when she saw it was him.

"Oh, hi," she smiled, laughing bashfully. "I seem to have gotten distracted."

"Whatcha reading?"

She lifted the cover to him.

"_How to Communicate Effectively_..." His eyebrows scrunched. "You're reading...on how to speak?"

"Yes, well..." She closed the book, sighing dejectedly. "Like I said, I got distracted. It looked interesting at the time."

"Well, I thought you've gotten better at speaking."

She smiled at him half-heartedly. "To people and in group situations, yes, but... Mm..." She frowned, her cheeks tinting. "I still...lack...in certain aspects."

"Like what?"

She worried her bottom lip, her cheeks becoming more and more pink. "It would...be a little awkward to talk to you about..."

At this, Naruto found his nerves jumping. He thought he saw something that he hadn't before, and he couldn't force himself to leave it alone.

"Awkward?" He leaned his hand on the table, tilting his head. "Talking to _me_ is awkward?"

"Not...exactly..."

"Then is it something you can't talk to me about that's awkward?"

"I... I wouldn't say I _can't_ talk to you about it. It's just, um... It wouldn't be something to tell...you."

"Hm? Why not? Did you kill someone?"

She looked at him, slightly alarmed. "No, of course not."

"Are you trying to surprise someone?"

"Well... Well, no..."

"Then," he looked at his hand, appearing coy, "do you like someone?"

Hinata jumped, and, when he looked at her again, he found her face to be flushed.

"Th-th-that, um... I-I don't know...if I would say that."

That was it.

The way she was looking right now, that was something he never noticed before. The way her cheeks changed to a healthy dose of pink or red was something he always took as her being overly emotional, but now he understands that was never the case. She had only gotten this way when she was embarrased, and most of the time she had been embarrased in front of him – _because_ of him.

"Oh, I see," he said in that same oblivious tone he would have used years ago. "You're trying to talk to this guy that you like. Do I know him?"

Hinata looked away, exhaling a shaky breath, and stood. "I should have gone home." She grabbed her book, but Naruto grabbed her hand, giving one of his comforting smiles.

"You can tell me, Hinata. I won't laugh or anything."

She debated with herself, looking around the building, then stepped closer to him and whispered in his ear.

And everything snapped into place.

He realized now that he couldn't accept Hinata's feelings – not with as much strength as she had presented them. He couldn't ignore how he felt either because sometimes he felt like he was getting somewhere with Sakura, but there had always been something stopping him from enjoying that feeling: Hinata.

After he found out how she felt, and after he told her he didn't feel the same, he realized he wished he had noticed her. He wished he had seen her blushes and stutterings for what they were. He wished he had differentiated her kindness towards him from her kindness towards everyone else. He wished that, just once, he could have noticed what she had been trying to convey for all those years not because she noticed him – not because he would have known acceptance sooner – not because he felt like it would have led somewhere but because he would have been able to see someone direct affection towards him.

And that's why, even now – even though he still didn't feel the same – he had hoped to catch a glimpse of that love that he never decoded. He hoped he would catch Hinata glancing his way or decipher her stutters into some form of affection, but he realized that her feelings for him wasn't something that happened twice.

And this was all made clear when she whispered a name that wasn't his.

Hinata pulled away, looking at him with that hesitant, bashful demeanor that he had longed to see just once, but it wasn't for him. It wasn't _because_ of him.

He felt selfish for having part of him crumble at the realization.

"Huh." He forced a smile. "I never would have expected him."

"Oh!" She brought her hands to her face. "Promise you won't tell."

"Sure, sure!" he assured. "But what are you going to do?"

She looked at him. "Do? I don't exactly...have the best composure for situations like this." She sighed, becoming crestfallen. "To be honest, I'm not expecting this to be any different from any other time."

"You must really like him, huh?"

Hinata tried her best not to smile, her eyes sparkling. "It's hard to say."

She must have looked like that, at one point. Years ago, if someone had asked her that question as it related to him, she must have held an expression similar to this.

He...really wished she could direct it all at him just one more time.

"Okay," Naruto sat down. "Talk to me."

She looked at him, confused. "Why?"

"Pretend I'm him. If you have a practice conversation, then maybe you'll feel prepared for the real thing."

She frowned, not convinced. "But it's because it's you that this won't work. I don't feel self-conscious talking to _you_."

"How about a transformation or genjutsu?"

"No!" She sat down, red faced. "No... That would be almost as nerve-wrecking as doing it for real."

He grinned. "Then let's hope your imagination is good enough."

She nodded, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. Naruto watched as she calmed down, and allowed himself to indulge in the next fifteen minutes.

Because, surely, at one point, the expressions she made now were all for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**I can't really use the birthday excuse here...because I planned to update JUST ONCE MORE because, in my mind...it's not Sasuke. I know, my other fics would suggest otherwise, but it's not Sasuke.**

**And we shall mark this date: 06/09/14**

**Enjoy!**

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He watched them talk.

From his position on the bench, he stared across the way as Hinata talked to him – her supposed crush – and he...felt extremely bothered by it all. Her cheeks were decidedly flushed, but she conversed smoothly with the dark-haired boy, smiling and laughing.

He doubted Shikamaru suspected a thing, though.

Ever since Naruto talked with her that day in the library, Hinata had been steadily building an acquaintanceship with the Nara. It started with her seeking him out for tactical advice then progressed to her casually saying hi when their paths crossed. He doesn't know when the actual conversations happened, but he noticed, one day, that they were talking about arbitrary things like the upcoming Chunin Exams or plans for the day.

It didn't make sense, really.

He wasn't jealous, but he didn't know what she could possibly see in a guy like _Shikamaru Nara_. The guy was a genius, but he was lazy and unmotivated. He didn't particularly care what others around him were doing unless it interfered with the _nothing_ he was doing, and...

He was his complete opposite, wasn't he?

Naruto was far from being a genius, but he was driven and always knew what he wanted out of any situation. He was more aware than those around him, most of the time, and he was just...out there! Naruto couldn't rightfully say that he knew Hinata's type (she only ever liked him, after all), but Shikamaru was a shot in the other direction. Heck, Kiba would have made more sense as a crush.

_Lee_ would have made more sense!

Whatever the case, he didn't particularly like...whatever it was that bugged him so deeply.

Naruto shortly left the scene.

* * *

"I need you for a mission."

Naruto looked at Tsunade from across the desk, reluctant. "Is it...a team mission? Because Sakura and Sasuke are busy."

"I'm aware. That's why I want you to go with Shikamaru and Hinata."

He huffed, making a forced sound from the back of his throat, as he looked away in contempt. "How about I just go alone?"

"How about you go with them," Tsunade said definitively. "Spur of the moment plans are your specialty, but it's hardly something I condone."

"Hinata's good enough with plans, so why can't I just go with her?"

"Because being the brains, defense, and voice of reason would be unfair, on her part."

Naruto rolled his eyes indignantly. He hated how his past self always interfered with his current self. He was better now, so why did people think he still couldn't be serious when it actually mattered?

"You're impulsive, Naruto," Tsunade said conclusively. "I've already informed both Shikamaru and Hinata about the mission, and they were more willing than you appear to be."

He groaned. "I'm willing, I'm willing. It's just...a pretty mixed matched team."

"In looks, yes. In strategy, no."

* * *

The next morning, the three intending to leave met outside the gates. Hinata stood near Naruto, her composure in place, but the blonde couldn't help but notice her subtle signs of being anxious.

"Alright," Shikamaru drawled after going over their mission once more, "if that's all, then let's get going."

As they began to walk, Naruto was aware that he was paying too much attention to the heiress. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata's finger placed curiously at the side of her mouth, debating with herself. He knew what she must have been trying to do: Build up her courage.

"Hinata," he said, distracting her thoughts, "what do you think?"

She blinked, looking at him reluctantly. "About what?"

"All of us on a team together. Seems kind of... It's odd timing, doncha think?"

"Um..." She lowered her voice. "I actually requested to be on a mission with Shikamaru." She smiled apologetically. "I guess you got paired with us to compensate for our lack of brute strength."

"...Oh." She guesses? "Makes sense." _Compensate?_

She looked forward again and slowly made her way to Shikamaru's side. He looked at her briefly before a casual conversation started.

Naruto Uzumaki realized he was a third-wheel.

* * *

They seemed...closer since their mission – both metaphorically and physically. They talked openly in public, and it was not rare to see just the two of them together.

No one thought anything of it.

Naruto found that extremely odd because they _had_ to be a mix matched pair. He supposed Shikamaru's friendship with Choji and Ino dulled any shock that would have come along. Hinata was calmer, in a sense, so maybe people thought he needed that.

But it still should have been odd.

It had to be.

Today, Naruto and Sasuke were walking to the Hokage's office for an upcoming mission. The Uchiha was not pleased because he had much rather go on ANBU related affairs, but denying missions in general wouldn't look good for him.

"Just you and me, huh?" Naruto grinned.

"Hn."

"Whaddya think we'll end up doing? Infiltration? Delivery? Peace treaties?"

"Does it matter?" He scratched his head irritably. "It's all a waste of my time."

Naruto shrugged. "Experience is experience. Why not get as much as you can get? You could use more exposure to people like me."

"You could use less exposure to living."

Naruto laughed, completely humored. "You always act like you bother me. Trust me, if something bothers me then I'll fix it."

"How informative."

The two had almost made it to the Hokage Tower when Naruto took notice of two figures off to the side. From a distance he knew it was _those_ two, but he almost questioned it. They were standing...too close – closer than all the other times. Shikamaru was leaned against a tree, smirking lazily as he talked, and Hinata stood in front of him with her hands clasped behind her back. They weren't _doing_ anything questionable, but the distance... Their level of comfort with each other...

"The Nara has a wide range of tastes," Sasuke said.

Naruto looked at him.

"But he's not dating the Sand kunoichi, so maybe the Hyuuga is his type."

"They're not like that," Naruto said a little too quickly. "Hinata is _far_ from his type."

"He seems to be hers."

Naruto looked back at the duo just in time to see Hinata recovering from a particularly heated blush. Naruto clicked his tongue, suddenly a bit bitter. She never tried to talked to _him_ when _he_ was her crush. She voiced small concerns at best, but did she read books on how to speak so she could talk to _him_? Did she go out of her way to be around _him_? Did she ever request to be on a mission with _him_? No, he supposed, she didn't. Maybe she had harbored fear of the Kyuubi like everyone else.

Naruto wanted to yell in frustration. This shouldn't-

"Bother you?" Sasuke asked coolly, tossing a rock in the air and catching it.

Naruto eyed the motion, wondering when he stopped to get it. "What does?"

"Those two," Sasuke flicked his head in the direction of the two teens as they passed.

Naruto frowned. "They don't give me a reason to be bothered."

"Aa. So why are you?"

Naruto didn't know how to answer. He was bothered, but he shouldn't be. Admitting it aloud would only validate everything, but he wouldn't know his exact feelings on the matter.

"If it bothers you," Sasuke tossed the rock over his shoulder; a moment later, Hinata let out a high-pitched yelp, "fix it."

* * *

"Oi, Shikamaru."

The Nara stopped, turning. "Naruto."

"You got a second?"

"I've got time to waste. What's up?"

Naruto caught up with him, and the two began to walk. "What's the deal with you and Hinata?"

"Me and Hinata?"

"You spend a lot of time together these days."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Just kinda happens."

"So, what's up? Are you guys a thing?"

Shikamaru yawned, scratching the back of his head. "Is that how it looks? It never crossed my mind."

"So...?"

"So what?"

"_Are you?_"

Shikamaru took a moment, staring straight ahead. "Are you jealous?"

"What?"

"I'm trying to understand why you're pressuring me to answer, but the only thing I can come up with is jealousy." He paused, scrunching a brow. "Which still wouldn't make sense because _you're_ the one who rejected _her_."

Naruto bit his tongue, not knowing whether or not he was being illogical. "I just think if you're going to be with Temari, it's a little cruel to string Hinata along."

"First of all," Shikamaru said, "Temari and I aren't dating or anything similar. Second of all, stringing Hinata along would be the last thing I ever do to a girl like her."

"So, you like her?"

Shikamaru stopped, looking at Naruto. He hadn't noticed the blonde's odd behavior until their last mission. He was usually a lively guy that made his way into any conversation, but he had been unusually quiet and always retired early. Really, whatever Naruto's feelings were on the matter, they were troubling.

"A regular life," Shikamaru said, evoking a bewildered look from Naruto. "Marry a regular girl – not too ugly or too pretty – and have two kids, first a girl then a boy." He shrugged. "Maybe that's asking for too much for me now."

"What are you getting at?"

"A relationship with Hinata would be ideal. She's not loud. She's not so emotional anymore." He frowned, thinking. "She has an exotic look, but a regular girl is probably outta the question for me."

Naruto's cheek raised involuntarily. Shikamaru was beating around the bush.

"I never thought of it before, but our masters did get along quite well. That reminds me... I have to check on Kurenai-sensei." He sighed, turning sluggishly. "What a drag."

Shikamaru would continue to give vague responses.

* * *

"Come on, Sakuraaaaaa."

"No, Naruto."

"It's not a date. I just want to have dinner with you."

She scoffed. "At Ichiraku?"

"Best place in the whole village."

"No."

"But Sakuraaaaaa."

Sakura, Naruto and Ino were walking to the hospital. The pink-haired kunoichi had business to tend to, and Naruto was determined to preoccupy her time afterwards.

"You gotta give him some credit," Ino said, nodding. "He _must_ be in love with you to put up with wanting to see _your_ face every day."

Sakura smiled irritably. "Wanna run that by me again?"

"Face it, Sakura. It's either him or Lee, but it seems you're determined to be alone. I mean, even Hinata gave up on her long time crush, but here Naruto is."

At this, Sakura found herself suppressing a laugh. It was cynical humor, but it was humor all the same.

"Ah, speak of the angel."

The three looked up ahead, approaching the hospital, to see Hinata exiting. Her eyes were downcast as she walked with her hands clasped behind her.

"Hinataaaaaa!" Ino called, waving joyfully. "Why's that pretty face looking so down?"

Hinata looked up and gave a small, forced smile. When they all met, she gave a courteous greeting to everyone.

"Is everything alright?" Sakura asked, truly concerned now that Hinata's mood continued to stay low.

"It's fine. I was just visiting someone...but they're fine."

"Should they not be?" Ino said, her face blank, as she punched a fist into her hand. "Do we need to rough someone up?"

"Please," Sakura scoffed. "Like you can rough anyone up."

"I can rough you up, forehead."

Sakura cracked her knuckles. "Hinata must've been sad because she foresaw _you_ in intensive care."

Hinata giggled, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm alright, really." She bowed. "Don't let me keep you all." She continued on her way.

The three watched. Someone she knew must have been hurt, which would make sense. Sakura and Ino turned to go inside, but Naruto headed the other direction.

The two didn't comment on it because – one way or the other – they knew he was just wasting his time.

*o0o0o0o*

When Naruto finally caught up to Hinata, she was sitting on a bench, staring at the clouds. For a moment, he felt slightly ill-suited for something like this, but he took a spot next to her.

"Cloud gazing, huh?" he said, looking up as well. "See you've picked up a few habits."

She nodded slightly, making a sound of acknowledgement.

"So... What's up? Anything I can help with?"

She shook her head, sighing softly. "Shikamaru's in the hospital. He's alright – just a few fractured bones."

"That's nothing they can't fix."

"...I know." She looked down, frowning. Naruto would have thought she was fighting back tears, but her eyes had yet to water. "He... Temari-san and Shikamaru get along...well."

Naruto blinked. "She was there?"

She nodded, smiling painfully. "She claimed she heard about it and rushed right over." Hinata laughed, pushing her hair back. "Actually, that's the nice version of what she said."

Naruto watched as she fiddled her thumbs frantically. She bit on her lip as her body began to shake.

"They look...so...s-so..."

"Perfect?"

Hinata closed her eyes tightly, turning her head. She didn't sob or gasp, but the tears escaped from the corner of her eyes, falling steadily. For a second, he watched her. Part of him ached for her – this second heartache she was experiencing – but another part of him was...pleased...

...that he was the one here.

He placed a hand on top of hers to stop her feverish movements. She went rigid but didn't look at him.

"You can rely on me, Hinata."

She looked at him then, trying to understand his meaning.

He gave an empathetic smile. "I won't laugh or anything."

She stared at him, but then the tears began to build again. She tried to look away, but one squeeze of Naruto's hand gave her the courage to break down. Neither was sure if she crashed into him or if he pulled her, but Hinata cried into his chest.

Naruto wondered if she would be confused after this. He had gone after her – had realized she had been heartbroken – and now here he was, the first guy to ever break her heart, comforting her at a very vulnerable time.

But this felt...better.

Shikamaru and Hinata... That just didn't sit right with him. He had no room to feel any kind of way about where their relationship led, but he was relieved she was like this. As of now, he still wasn't sure where his feelings with her stood. He certainly wasn't romantically invested, but-

"Ow!" Naruto hissed.

Hinata looked up, her face wet. "What happened?"

Naruto looked up, rubbing his head. "I think...a rock hit me."


End file.
